Lonner Sex
I decided that the greatest route into a person’s mind is one that they themselves have already paved. So here is an exert from my journal dated 3.10.2004:

The Night is Mine!

…Its silence screams…
And so my friends I light the flame
That stirs the shadows upon my wall,

Three hits of solitude and the world is mine

I command myself an awarding bliss divine

Slowly I sink into the depths of solitude
And color my world with all that is crude
From the beginning hush to the last luscious moment,
I know what I’ve got, and I got there all alone.

I wish people could understand me better. Breaking up with the boy was a powerful moment for me. Oddly enough I wrote this poem while I was still with him. I was alone that whole damn time wasn’t I? I carried myself to the top and I found my own ways to feel happy. I was working for two people and he was working for one. The proportions just weren’t compatible.

The rain has finally washed away the sting of the drought and now I am ready to be everything I want to be. I feel clarity and focus has rejoined my esteem.